5 Weird Things
*Wendy made me do it*
I don’t know that much about me is weird (except that I used to spell it “wierd” and Karen Corum absolutely hated that I couldn’t get it right). Quite frankly, I’m finding that my appreciation for the “normal” is growing stronger by the day… but I digress.
1.) I set my bed on fire while sleeping. Yeah… I would not recommend trying this at home. I was 16 and ready for bed. The massive pounds of books and homework I carried in my backpack every day were enough to temporarily destroy my back, and so I slept on a heating pad some nights. The heating pad was older than me. Oh, and let’s not forget that one should NEVER fall asleep while using a heating pad, per the instructions. Back to the story… I woke up coughing and passed out. I woke up again and, thanks to the cord’s little red “on” light, saw that my bedroom was full of smoke. Remaining calm, I first turned the heating pad switch to the “off” position then yanked the cord from the outlet. I sprang to my feet and made my way to the adjacent bathroom where I grabbed a couple Dixie cups full of water and proceeded to use them as extinguishing devices. Moving on… the coils from the pad burned through my sweatshirt. My skin was unharmed. It also burned a perfect circle - about 12 inches in diameter – through my bed (which was apparently flame retardant, thank God!). My dad stuffed the hole with some towels, covered the bed with a plastic “pee” cover, and made me continue using that mattress as punishment for being an idiot.
2.) I faked a seizure in German class my sophomore year in high school. I’m not sure exactly why I did it. I guess I thought I was being funny. That, or I hadn’t learned my lines for my mock German wedding and I didn’t want to look like a fool. Whatever the case… it was my last day in German class that year.
3.) I have to plug/cover the inner tear-ducts for my right eye when I blow my nose. My tear ducts have been manually re-routed and, due to the “shortcuts” they now take, a good blow can cause stuff to shoot through my eye. Tasty!
4.) If your toilet paper hangs under the roll (rather than over, of course)... and I come to your house and use your bathroom - whether I use the toilet or not - I will change the direction your toilet paper hangs. TP should always hang over the roll! Never under! EVER!
5.) I never wanted a pony when I was a little girl.
What’s weird about you?
5 Comments:
OH NO! 1) I DO THIS! I DO THIS! I sleep on a heating pad! I do! And I shan't ever do it again. This has me in a panic! How close have I been to burning down our house? How close?
and
4) I read once that most men load the TP to hang under while most women load the TP to hang over. And lo and behold, I hate it when it hangs under, too. My husband? ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS hangs it under (paper towels, too.). drives me nuts.
patresa
It's illegal in 48 states to hang the toilet paper under. Did you know that? You need to start carrying a badge and making citizen arrests.
The thing I'm really astounded at was the faking of a seizure. That takes guts! Once, in college, on April Fool's day, two 'popular' guys in one of my classes thought it would be funny for one of them to run in and smash a creme pie in the other's face. Needless to say, the prank went over like a big wet turd. The teacher was not only NOT amused, but p-oe'd, and the class was just ... very very uncomfortable.
Patresa: I recommend that you step away from the heating pad... slowly. Do not sleep on it again! Your house was *this* close to burning down - and that's close!
I remember working at Drug Town as a cashier after I burned my bed... and I would explain my story to anyone who bought a heating pad, "Do NOT, under any circumstance, sleep on your newly purchased heating pad. You will burn a hole in your flame-retardant mattress."
I totally can relate to the TP thing, except, lucky for me - I married a man who feels the same way - over the top is the way to go!
I, too, have begun to sleep with a heating pad, but that #5 weird quality in me (the urge to be ultra-responsible) tells me to turn it off before I doze off. But, I continue to use a heating pad whenever I can. My back hurts so much from the abuse it took at the Braille School when I thought I was invincible and lifted 175 lb. boys alone. So, usually, when I watch tv at night I lean against a heating pad. Plus, it's just nice to feel toasty in a cold house.
Rolling on the floor laughing! I have never thought much about the direction of toilet paper, but will now wonder if my guests have ever chnaged it. I am new to blogging and noticed you liked hawkeye football, so I took a look at your blog.
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