5 Weird Things
*Wendy made me do it*
I don’t know that much about me is weird (except that I used to spell it “wierd” and Karen Corum absolutely hated that I couldn’t get it right). Quite frankly, I’m finding that my appreciation for the “normal” is growing stronger by the day… but I digress.
1.) I set my bed on fire while sleeping. Yeah… I would not recommend trying this at home. I was 16 and ready for bed. The massive pounds of books and homework I carried in my backpack every day were enough to temporarily destroy my back, and so I slept on a heating pad some nights. The heating pad was older than me. Oh, and let’s not forget that one should NEVER fall asleep while using a heating pad, per the instructions. Back to the story… I woke up coughing and passed out. I woke up again and, thanks to the cord’s little red “on” light, saw that my bedroom was full of smoke. Remaining calm, I first turned the heating pad switch to the “off” position then yanked the cord from the outlet. I sprang to my feet and made my way to the adjacent bathroom where I grabbed a couple Dixie cups full of water and proceeded to use them as extinguishing devices. Moving on… the coils from the pad burned through my sweatshirt. My skin was unharmed. It also burned a perfect circle - about 12 inches in diameter – through my bed (which was apparently flame retardant, thank God!). My dad stuffed the hole with some towels, covered the bed with a plastic “pee” cover, and made me continue using that mattress as punishment for being an idiot.
2.) I faked a seizure in German class my sophomore year in high school. I’m not sure exactly why I did it. I guess I thought I was being funny. That, or I hadn’t learned my lines for my mock German wedding and I didn’t want to look like a fool. Whatever the case… it was my last day in German class that year.
3.) I have to plug/cover the inner tear-ducts for my right eye when I blow my nose. My tear ducts have been manually re-routed and, due to the “shortcuts” they now take, a good blow can cause stuff to shoot through my eye. Tasty!
4.) If your toilet paper hangs under the roll (rather than over, of course)... and I come to your house and use your bathroom - whether I use the toilet or not - I will change the direction your toilet paper hangs. TP should always hang over the roll! Never under! EVER!
5.) I never wanted a pony when I was a little girl.
What’s weird about you?
