The 4th Week... The 4th Month

Today was the first day of my 4th week at work. I'm busy as a bee trying to balance work and life, but it's not as balanced as it ought to be. Too many errands and chores all mashed into the short, dark time-frame between rush hour and sleep. I don't get to have coffee and appetizers with Becky everyday, I don't get to be Maddie's school chauffeur or classroom volunteer anymore, and my house isn't as floor-lickably clean as it was while I had the daylight hours at my disposal.

Side note: The monitor image - not the monitor itself - is wiggling, making it hard for me to look at the screen. Anyway...

Mike and I have been dating 4 months. That's a long time for me! However, we're still weekend warriors, plugging away at all the compromises and adaptations necessary to make this thing work. Last week marked the first time we were able to see each other during the week: Mike came to Cedar Rapids on a Tuesday evening so he could watch Maddie sing in her Holiday musical at school. I hope last Tuesday was the first of many week-day visits for us.

Weekending is a formulated way to date - comprised of a predetermined event with a start and end time. We see each other for a reason, but rarely just to see each other. At least we get to be with each other. Last Friday Maddie and I trekked up to Dubuque so I could attend a formal event with Mike that evening, and Maddie could bake cookies with Diane, Mike's mom. I made an executive decision to skip gymnastics Saturday morning and stay an extra day in Dubuque so we could relax and try to spend some leisurely time together... doing whatever we want without any significant time constraints. A great idea, if I do say so myself.

We stayed at Diane's and played Katamari Damacy for a couple hours Saturday morning. Mike and I got to spend some quality time shopping, then we invited Maddie and Diane to Galena for some wine-tasting (Maddie had Galena Cellar's Sparkling White Grape Juice), chocolate-buying, used-book browsing, and Irish pub dining. I recommend The Irish Cottage in Galena for anyone who's looking for fantastic Celtic food in a great environment... with entertainment, to boot! Maddie loved the traditional Irish dancing. I loved the bangers.

I made another executive decision (a perk of being an adult and single parent)... to stay an extra night. Mike, Maddie and I went ice skating at the Five Flags Center in Dubuque Sunday afternoon. It was my first time skating at a rink, and my second time skating... ever. Maddie skated outdoors nearly every night last winter, but she needed time and practice to get used to the smooth surface at the rink. Oh, and Mike's a pro who needed no help, but selflessly sacrificed himself to help two amateurs. I'm happy to report that I didn't fall. Maddie, on the other hand, left with wet pants.

Ahhh... a lovely, relaxed weekend - at last! But when will I get my week-days back???

A Couple Items of Note...

1. Michael J. Fox is on the cover of the Jan/Feb '06 issue of the AARP Magazine. Whoa!

I had a brief conversation with Mike's bro-in-law, Michael, over the weekend about an episode of Family Ties when Mallory takes speed so she can keep up with her class load. Anyway, it's hard to believe that Alex P. Keaton from Family Ties, whose brotherly concern for his on-screen sister helped drive her down from her not-so-educational high, is old enough to be featured on the cover of a magazine marketed to retired people.

2. I was listening to AM radio this morning - entertainment news to be specific. The question posed was, "Will 'King Kong' save Hollywood?" Save Hollywood? Are you kidding me? Now, I understand that there are film crew members who don't make truck-loads of money, but what I heard when that question was asked is, "Please help those who are currently living in $20mil. dollar estates so they can continue leading extravagant lifestyles!!!"

Maybe it's time to lavish farmers and educators with the praise and adoration we've given to those who may be indirectly responsible for the collective loss of imagination in many a boy and girl.

Note: I'll probably see "King Kong" anyway...

3.) I live in Iowa and it gets pretty cold here during the winter. It was exactly 19 degrees below zero last Wednesday and it's something we learn to live with... as Iowans.

Today the eastern portion of the state was under a snow advisory. We got about six inches of snow - the wet stuff. This is the stuff that's great for making snowmen and snow forts, but it's incredibly heavy. The reason this snow is so good it because it's wet. It's wet because the air is "warm" - hovering around 32 degrees (we got a little rain today, too).

Iowans are known for reveling in the "warm" spells that occur directly after cold spells by shedding their heavy winter coats, scarves, hats, etc. I saw no less that seven men (including my dad) shoveling the heavy packing snow in T-shirts! That's Iowa for you.

What Parents Will Do...

I'm feeling reminiscent, tonight, of my life with a precocious and curious toddler.


When Maddie was old enough to bathe in a regular bathtub - not one of those plastic baby tubs - I would wash her body and say the name of every major bone as I passed by. "This is your cranium," I'd say as I washed her hair, and I'd move down to the mandible, clavicles, scapulae, etc... all the way down to her tarsals, metatarsals and phalanges.


I bought Madeleine several books regarding human physiology that explained the nervous system, endocrine system, digestive system, cardiovascular system, reproductive system... and the skeletal system, of course.


My secret plan was to give Maddie a strong foundation as to how the human body worked so she would excel in biology/anatomy classes, setting the stage for a life in the medical field. She now remembers only a handful of the bones and probably couldn't divulge the purpose of the heart's atria and ventricles... but she's got a foundation.


I'd be lying if I said that I'd be happy for Maddie no matter where she ends up in life - I have great expectations of her. More accurately, I hope she is able to follow her dreams and choose to do something she loves. To carve a niche for herself in her chosen field and excel. To be confident.


Confidence is something I lacked while scheduling my future. I was good at a lot of things, and even very good at a few. However, I would not allow myself to face failure where I'd invested my heart and talents... so I abandoned those skills and dreams in favor of the things that would merely get me by. It's ironic that I broke my own heart in trying to protect it. I'll do whatever I can to be sure Maddie allows herself to take risks and dream big... to never give up or take the easy way out (even if she opts out of the medical field).

Slow Goin'

I'm now gainfully* employed at GE. I think the job will be fun, but it's not what I want to be doing in 6 months.

I've been toying with the idea of going back to school for a second degree in Secondary Education: English. I'd love to be a teacher so I can make a difference (that's what I liked about my previous job with Equipping Youth), but primarily so I can spend summers with my daughter rather than sending her off to day care.

My idea of a "dream job" has changed several times since I decided what I wanted to be when I grew up: an artist, a neurosurgeon, an architect, a television/radio producer, a psychologist, a writer, a museum curator, a spin-doctor, a genetic researcher, an event coordinator, a healthcare lobbyist, and an educator (in that order).

I don't necessarily want to make loads of money, but I want to be fairly compensated. I don't want to be a cog in the machine - to make money for the sake of making money. I want to enjoy what I do and know it's best for me and my daughter in terms of a balance between time and income. I need advice. Do you have any?


*Gainfully employed: I'm employed, but the "gainful" part is in question...