Job Security: The Oral Health Industry

I have a theory about dentists... and it's not a popular theory:
We've all heard the phrase "job security", and I think those in the dental industry adhere to this philosophy as much as those in any other trade.

I visit my dentist only once every 5 years... because I don't want them messing with perfection. I've never had a cavity, so I'm going with what works for me. When I DO make it to an appointment, the dentist and hygienist both rave about the spectacular condition of my teeth and gums: "You obviously floss twice daily and brush no less than three times a day. Well done!" When in fact, I rarely floss and brush only twice a day... with a normal toothbrush (none of that fancy stuff).

My secret: Trident chewing gum. It rids the pearlies of any afternoon fuzz and offers sweet freshness to anyone with a hankerin' for some oral activity (e.g. talking, kissing, breathing...). That, and I don't have dentists scraping away at my enamel every 6 months. Like I said, job security.

Note: My theory does not apply to orthodontists. The buck stops here!